Ok. Men and women are different. Husbands and wives are different. So totally different. And what I am about to say is not new. In fact, it’s old, very old. You women just forget.
When you want your man to maybe do the laundry, the dishes, cleaning, cooking, etc., just ask.
No need to sugarcoat it. No need to nag. And no crying! We will be happy to do it for you. You know, coz we love you! Gone are days when husbands are limited to handling cash to wives and ruffling the kid’s hair. We are doing and contributing more. I don’t know if it’s for the good or the bad, at least we are putting ourselves out there, doing and trying our best. I do believe that whatever is worth doing is worth doing right.
According to the Huffington Post (got the link from Backpacking Dad), the average dad has gradually been getting better about picking himself up off the sofa and pitching in. For the guys, here are some things from the Huffington Post that would surely make up for it.
Joshua Coleman, a San Francisco-area psychologist and author of “The Lazy Husband: How to Get Men to Do More Parenting and Housework,” said equitable sharing of housework can lead to a happier marriage and more frequent sex.
If a guy does housework, it looks to the woman like he really cares about her—he’s not treating her like a servant,” said Coleman. “And if a woman feels stressed out because the house is a mess and the guy’s sitting on the couch while she’s vacuuming, that’s not going to put her in the mood.”
“There’s a generational shift that’s quite strong,” she said. “The younger set of dads have their own expectations about themselves as to being helpful and participatory. They haven’t quite gotten to equality in any sense that a women would say, ‘Wow, that’s equal,’ but they’ve gotten so much farther down the road.”
oOo
My sister-in-law said, the key to a good marriage is communication. Did I mention that she is just 17 years old. Yup! Pretty wise eh?!
As newlyweds, the wife and I have to make a lot of adjustments. Like most couples, we agree and disagree on all things. What is important is you hear each other’s opinion. But ultimately, I (or rather we) think that it is the husband that should decide. He is the head of the family. He should be responsible for all things. But that does not mean that his opinion is the only opinion. He has to discuss things with his wife, talk about their views and takes, and ultimately decide which will be good for them. A tough job if you ask me.
But overall, for the guys, keep the wife happy, even if this includes doing chores or tagging along while she does her shopping. I just wish more shops have seats for husbands. Women take forever to shop!
Happy wife = happy life.
While having my Morning Coffee, I came across this post from Money Smarts. Only now have I known that “Ka Bel” passed away. I can’t believe that he fell on the roof, I can’t believe that that is his house, and I can’t believe that he was poor. Well, poor seems inappropriate, and subjective, as people have different opinions on what it means to be poor. Let’s just say that he had a very simple life. According to the report, he had a net worth of only 22,750. Oh c’mon, 22,750 pesos! I mean, is that all?! That’s it?! Crap!
I don’t want to be poor. I’ve been poor half my life. I don’t want my family to scrape for food. I want to provide for my family, have a nice house, in a safe neighborhood (where kids can play outside), and retire as early as possible (maybe after 10 more years of working). And I think it’s safe to say that most people want the same thing. That’s not much right?
A very wise man asked me this:
Which would you rather do, work for 50 years or work very hard for 5 years?
Of course, I naturally said 5 years. So he asked me this:
Are you willing to do whatever it takes to retire and have a good life in 5 years?
Again, I said yes. But is this (legally) possible? YES. IT. IS. And I’m willing to do whatever it takes. He said that it can only be possible by having your own business. Wala namang empleyadong yumayaman. Ask your boss. If he said yes, then ask him why he hasn’t retired. And take note of his age. By the time I’m 45 or 50, I don’t want to be working still full time like that. I want to enjoy life when I’m that age. Maybe overseeing things for a couple of hours. That’s it.
That is why all business opportunities should always be explored for yourself and not rely on hearsay. Imagine you are there when Bill Gates was still developing Microsoft, and he said Want to be my business partner? But you said I don’t know, I’m kinda busy, pupunta pa kami sa bahay ni Kuya. So Bill partnered with another guy. Tough luck! The key is to explore all business opportunities, to do research, know as much as possible about it, look at its potential, etc. Don’t dismiss it right away. Sure it beats going to Bahay ni Kuya, seeing a lot of artistas, and having a ton of fun. But what if that 2 or so hours of business meeting might just be that effing opportunity for you? And you missed it big time?
So explore all opportunities. Go out of the comfort zone. And while we are waiting for that Bill Gates opportunity, here are some of the little ways from Money Smarts for us to start with:
Wow! A tag from Tricia, my very first tag, now I feel like I’m a professional blabber, I mean blogger. Ok, here we go!
1. What do you want for your birthday?
I just want to relax (by the beach if possible) and have good food all day.
2. Who will be your next kiss?
I’m betting it’s gonna be the wife, I can’t help it, she can’t seem to get enough of me. Hi wife!
3. When was the last time you went to the mall?
Last Tuesday, I think. We went to Ikea Makati to look around and bought a stove in Cash & Carry.
4. Are you wearing socks right now?
Yes, I almost always wear socks.
5. How did you spend your summer?
We went to Bataan to visit my parents for a couple of days, went back to Paranaque for the wife’s mother’s birthday, went swimming in Bulacan, and did a lot of work.
6. Have you been to the cinema in the last 5 days?
Nope. The last time was when we did this.
7. What was the last thing you had to drink?
I’m currently having coffee.
8. What are you wearing right now?
Would it be too much if I said I’m just wearing boxer briefs in the office? Ok, office clothes.
9. What was your last purchase?
A stove.
10. What was the last food you ate?
We had dinner at my in-laws last night. It was sinigang na hipon (my favorite), ginataang tilapia (another favorite), fried bangus with onions and tomatoes (yes, also a favorite), and a banana.
11. Who would be the person you would call if you were up in the middle of the night and couldn’t sleep?
I’m not the type who likes to talk (I know it’s not obvious). I’d probably savor the quiet time, maybe read a book, or play a game in the computer.
12. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
Nope.
13. Do you have a pet?
Nope. I can barely take care of myself, much less care for another living thing.
14. What made you laugh in the last 5 days?
When we were scouting for sofas in Cash & Carry, I saw this really really ugly sofa set. Really! I was laughing so hard that I had tears and was attracting too much attention. Oh man! I can’t believe they put that on display! The wife had to drag me out. And I think I peed on myself.
15. If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be?
Boracay or Tagaytay.
16. What is the last thing you purchased online?
I bought a lotion in Amazon for a friend in Virginia last Christmas.
17. One thing you hate about yourself?
I just wish I’m taller.
18. Do you miss anyone?
Friends, haven’t seen them in ages.
19. What are your plans for the day?
Work at the office and then get busy with the business.
20. Last person you msg’d?
My sister.
21. Ever went to a camp?
Never.
22. Are you a good student in school?
No. I could have been good though.
23. What do you know about the (your) future?
I know I’m going to be somebody someday.
24. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?
Nope, natural scent.
25. Where is/are your best friend/s right now?
One is in Virginia. The other is in Batangas or Laguna, a haciendero.
As this is my first tag, I won’t be tagging anyone. I’d like to keep it to myself.
Hey Trish! Congrats on the new baby!
We are moving to a new home, one that is near the office, so we can save on gas, which is ridiculously around 50 pesos! Good thing my ever reliable car, Boks, a Lancer EL (yes, I know, he’s an old model, yabang nyo, but I love him coz he never lets me down), doesn’t eat a lot of gas. Another reason for moving is because of the accumulated stuff we have, what with all the wedding junk, I mean presents, that we got. We would’ve preferred cash, but you lot want to have it your way and buy that present, and carry it all the way to Tagaytay, when we did tell you, rather discretely, to GIVE US CASH, and if you still want to gift us that it should be delivered in Manila. I only had to walk five times carrying the gifts from our room to Boks on my first day as husband! Thank you!
Okay. You see, since we got married, we have been living in my old room in our tiny condo in Manila. So now, we are moving to our own place. The only downside is we have to pay rent. 
One month advance, one month deposit. But the good thing is the building is new (we are the first tenants). It’s near my wife’s parents’ house, which means we could just walk there to eat (like we do on most days anyway) and maybe once a week their househelp can drop by to clean our new home. 
As added bonus, there is a brand new aircon installed. And Boks has his own covered gated parking space, complete with padlock (I have the key). It’s in a gated village, with guards. Oh, did I mentioned that its a two-bedroom unit?! 
Yay for the wife! She’s thinking of making one of the rooms as our walk-in closet. And it’s walking distance from Mercury Drug, a supermarket (Big C), the palengke, and the hospital (Paranaque Doctor’s Hospital). This is our new home, an answered prayer, a favor, a blessing. Thank you God!
Also, the wife and I are setting up a business, a part time business. This is something new for us, something we never thought we would do, something out of our comfort zone. We want something in our life. We have goals. We want to travel (not just locally, we’re thinking Europe, the Caribbean, Maldives). We want to retire early and have a nice house in the city and a resthouse maybe in Tagaytay or Batangas. We want good things not only for us but also for our children and grandchildren. But our current jobs won’t make these things happen. Sure we get a handsome salary, but is that it? Living from monthly salary to monthly salary and saving a little? We have to do something. This is in not enough.
Finally, we were able to relax, watch a movie, and have a great dinner.
I can’t remember when we last had something like this. A date. A very wise man told me that I should set some time each week (or every other week) to take my beautiful wife out on a date, like I did when we were dating/courting/flirting. Nowadays, whenever we would go out, it is usually to run errands, meet with friends, pay the bills, do the grocery, etc. Last year’s timetable was much more hectic (read: toxic), with all the wedding preps going on. So if you’re going to get married, better get one those wedding planners.
Okay, back to the date. Last Saturday, we watched Iron Man. Great movie, fantastic effects, and if you haven’t seen it yet, I suggest you do, totally worth it. I’m currently convincing the wife to get me that Iron Man suit. It would be nice to fly like that and fight the bad guys. We bought chips, drinks, and a couple of siopao.
And beacuse I’m jologs, I’ll tell you that we were seated right next to Cheryl Cosim and her fiance, I think, and lo and behold, a member of the Gucci Gang and her boyfriend was seated below us, I forgot her name. On our way out, we saw Carmina Villaruel, Zoren Legaspi, and their beautiful twins. And because we’re jologs, we stayed outside the cinemas to gawk at them, and wait for Cheryl and her fiance to get out so we could get a good look, hehe
We also watched some Afro-Brazillian thing (a festival or something like that) with drums and dancing in the lower level.
We had dinner at the wife’s favorite cafe, Cafe Breton.
All in all, it was a great day of people watching. And it rained really really hard earlier that day.
Hmmm…where shall we go on our next date? I’m thinking Batangas, maybe Canyon Cove or The Farm.
You don’t like it, you don’t hate it; you’re pretty much just getting through it, like eating granola for breakfast when you’d rather have bacon.
A husband's weblog of thoughts, observations, interests, opinions, and adventures. For comments, reactions, suggestions, and donations, you can contact me at thehusbandspeaks@gmail.com.
If you're interested in advertising here, please e-mail me at kwentongbahay@gmail.com.
