help for every woman

I found this great piece by Shaunti Feldhahn from Family.org. It’s entitled What I Didn’t Know About Men, with the byline Help for every woman who’s ever been completely baffled by the man in her life. Pretty promising right? The author pretty much nailed it so I’d just share it here. Sure hope the women will take notes!

Have you ever been totally confused by something the man in your life has said or done? Have you ever wondered, Why did that make him so angry? Yeah?

The answers to those and dozens of other common perplexities are all related to what is going on in your man’s inner life. Most are things he wishes you knew but doesn’t know how to tell you. In some cases, they’re things he has no idea you don’t know.

Surface Understanding #1: Men need respect. What that means in practice: Men would rather feel unloved than inadequate and disrespected.

Surface Understanding #2: Men are insecure. What that means in practice: Despite their “in control” exterior, men often feel like impostors and are insecure that their inadequacies will be discovered.

Surface Understanding #3: Men are providers. What that means in practice: Even if you personally made enough income to support the family’s lifestyle, it would make no difference to the mental burden he feels to provide.

Surface Understanding #4: Men want more sex. What that means in practice: Your sexual desire for your husband profoundly affects his sense of well-being and confidence in all areas of life.

Surface Understanding #5: Men are visual. What that means in practice: Even happily married men struggle with being pulled toward live and recollected images of other women.

Surface Understanding #6: Men are unromantic clods. What that means in practice: Actually, most men enjoy romance (sometimes in different ways) and want to be romantic — but hesitate because they doubt they can succeed.

Surface Understanding #7: Men care about appearance. What that means in practice: You don’t need to be a size 3, but your man does need to see you making the effort to take care of yourself — and he will take on significant cost or inconvenience in order to support you.

The more we understand the men in our lives, the better we can support and love them in the way they need to be loved. In other words, this revelation is supposed to change and improve us.