crazy mode

Isn’t it amazing how debt collection agencies do their job? Collection institutions are great. It’s a great business. But sometimes, but really most of the time, the collection agents themselves get so annoying that you just want to go there and hit them with a telephone right smack at their mouth, over and over, with the blood gushing all over, until their teeth are gone. So what can we do? Here are some cool tricks.

Before anything else, always ask for the full name of the person you are talking to, so when things get “messy,” you can fight back. I once had the mistake of only asking for a name, and when I called to report her lack of social skills, they said that they have a lot of agents named Ana. So get their full name please! And when things heat up, you can threaten them with something like “I wonder what your bosses will say if I report your lack of social skills?” Also, here are my favorites: “I know my rights!” (kahit hindi naman talaga) “Are you aware that you are harassing me?” (kahit hindi rin naman talaga) “Do you know that I can file for harassment and get you fired?” (kahit hindi mo talaga gagawin kasi nakakatamad).

Sometimes, when you’re feeling playful, after you get his/her name, ask him/her for a date. Then tell him/her where you will go, what movies are currently showing, enumerate some restos, etc. If he/she hasn’t hang up, ask his/her favorite food, color, movie, song, etc. Just ignore hi/her comments and keep it up.

On even bored times,  ask them for advice on marriage, or maybe a recipe turned bad like “Alam mo kanina parang matabang yung paksiw ni misis? Bakit kaya? Siguro kulang sa suka?” Or maybe something very deep and cerebral like “yung bang uod pag namatay inuuod?” As always, just ignore their comments and start yapping. After all, they called you, right? So put your “crazy” hat on and have fun. They’re really asking for it anyway.